MOM

I have chewed over the words and turned them around a few times. It was a trip I did not anticipate. I went to Cape Town for a few reasons. To attend a Funeral, see my sister in Law and then spend a week with my mom to help her “sort” out some stuff that she had gathered over the years. I had hardly started when the call came that a place has become vacant for my Mom at the Retirement Village where she had given up her name a while ago. My sorting had now become a Pack up and chuck out as fast as possible mission. My mom retreated to her room and did not once interfere with what was going on around her. Seeing things she had packed away for us her children and things we used as kids passed through my hands and on more than one occasion I had to set stuff down in a maybe Pile, knowing it would eventually have to go as well. Once a Box had been filled and sealed there was no turning back. The next day and the next became a blur. Slowly my mom would start asking about certain items and I would have to say: It’s Gone.
I never ever want to see the hurt and the pain in her eyes again.
When had you grown so frail Momma? When had you become so small?
I heard the words forgive me a few times from my Dad and now my Mom has started doing it too. What the hell are you wanting forgiveness for? Maybe we should ask your forgiveness. You were the best parents you could be. The two of us did not always have a fantastic relationship and I will never admit to thinking I was perfect, but to me you are the Only Mom I will ever have. You have worked your fingers to the Bone. Literally.
I think at the age of 72 you are entitled to Full retirement and being taken care of instead of always taking care of the world around you. It made no difference to you whether you had to take care of a “Bergie” or a child or friend. Your heart is bigger than a warehouse. During the past few days you would walk past me and see something and ask me to put it aside for so and so. I kept asking Why? Why would you want to keep stuff for other people? From a painting to a glass bowl, from a jar of crystallised Honey to a water bottle. You had someone in mind for each item. I wonder how long it would have taken you had I left it all to you? You would most probably fill a room for each.
Mom Now is your time to Shine. Go and enjoy the rest of your years. Look after You. Enjoy being You. Enjoy being pampered. Just be. Remember we are only a phone call away. (seeing we cannot get you to use whatsapp) Having a smartphone has proved to be a major Challenge for you and we won’t push it. As much as we laugh about it now we all hated that damn Yellow Camera you always tagged along everywhere. That was the one thing i could not wait to trash. The memories you created with it via the photos we found is Priceless. Thank You
I love you